Crisp Happenings

What's different

2011-06-13T15:39:00.000-04:00

Normally when I have a toddler this age. . .

I look like this.

But SHE is that age. . .

And I look like this!

No, this post isn't about what I look like! It's really about what I don't have growing inside of me. We are about to enter a brand new season. One in which we have never entered before. Soon we will have a 2 year old and NO new born baby. I have to say, I'm not sad about this new season. I can get my "baby" fix via my sisters who are all still makin' babies. Thanks Ange, Corrie and Cheryl!

There are moments when I look at Nora and think, "She's going to need to be potty trained in the next year, then there will be no more diapers in the house." Part of that does make me sad but the other part of me is happy to have the extra 20 dollars a week for groceries.

I love that our whole family can take bike rides together. That we can go to the beach for the day without a stroller. I don't need to worry about a baby monitor when I'm outside. I don't have to plan my day around feedings. And many, many more things.

I will miss the new baby smell. The soothing, only mommy can do. Falling asleep on the couch after a feeding. The first eye contact, smile and giggle.

Ahhh, but I am so happy we are entering a new phase of life. One that is unfamiliar and exciting. One that, I know, will bring new memories, experiences and opportunities.

Blessed

2011-05-20T11:13:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I look around at the dinner table and I wonder how we got to this? When did we have five kids? These are the days I feel blessed beyond what I deserve. I am thankful for 5 times the laughs, 5 times the I love yous, 5 times the hugs. Children are a blessing from the Lord. They teach me more and more about my need for the Savior and the weaknesses that He saves me from.

Crazy dinner time.

Nora expressing her displeasure with being told no.

Nora cheesing for the camera. As her personality emerges, we are finding that we have a "mini Josh" on our hands. The most like daddy, in personality, of all the kids.

Esther lives up to her namesake, "A Star". She is 100% girl. She wears dresses everyday. Here she is painting her nails, an almost daily occurrence.

Gideon at 3 1/2, loves to get himself dressed (here his shirt is backwards), ride his bike, and play ball.

Garrett has always done these mosaic drawings. As he gets older, they get more detailed and creative. I'm excited to see where this passion takes him. This one was for dad and mom (although, you can't see my name b/c it's written in pencil. I guess I was an afterthought.).

The kids have been listening to the Narnia books on CD at night before bed. They are currently on the final book, The Last Battle. Here Olivia drew the 4 children from the stories and Aslan.

The latest on school, life and the kids

2011-03-31T15:49:00.000-04:00

School for us is almost out. 6 weeks and counting - and I can't tell you how excited I am about it! As I sit here nose, fingers and toes ice cold, I am dreaming of summer.

Beach days.

Pool days.

Hours and hours outside.

Grilling out every night.

Bike rides, roller blades, swings and slides.

New this year, will be hours spent at the baseball field, cheering on Garrett.

The kids are just as antsy for summer as I am. At dinner every night Gideon prays this prayer:
"Dear Jesus, help us love each other and that we can go to the beach. Amen."

Here's the latest pictures of the kids. Growing up so fast and so beautifully. I thank God for them everyday.

Here's Gideon ready for the beach (and a fight).

Garrett - such a great kid. We are really excited to enjoy baseball with him this season.

Nora, loving Garrett's helmet. She does the greatest "daddy dance" when Josh gets home. Her love for him melts my heart.

Olivia with her cousin, Avery. Olivia is great with the littler girls. She loves to read and play with them.

My little princess, Esther. Everyday she needs to know if she's going to be able to play outside, because it dictates whether she gets to wear a skirt or not. As girly as she is, she is BY FAR the dirtiest kid at the end of the day!!

Garrett turns 7

2011-03-17T15:37:00.000-04:00

Intensity, passion, extreme. These are the words that describe you Garrett. You certainly took his time coming into the world 7 years ago. 3 days late and 2 hours of pushing, our 8 lb. 9 oz. baby boy was born. You have forever changed the way I love. Your affection and intense desire to love deeply and and as hard as you can drives me to love in ways that stretch what I am comfortable doing.

You are the first person to greet strangers, high five buddies, and hug/hang on all available family members. You are learning how to be a friend. How to love people before yourself. And are quick to remind me when I need to pray about MY attitude. Thank you bud.

You initiate school on your own. You love math and anything that has to do with numbers. You work hard to get things done but also like to get it done quickly. Sometimes that's not a good combination but most of the time that means you get school done first!!

You are becoming a better reader and are not discouraged when you come up to a word you don't know. You show perseverance in phonics and spelling. A great attribute.

You are my best running buddy. You love to ride your bike along with me while I run. You don't like when I go across the bridge, you think it's going to fall. You've been asking me lately if you can run too. I know you think you're fast enough, but right now the bike will have to do. Thanks for talking to me and just keeping me company.

I love you dude.

Two years

2011-02-25T08:58:00.000-05:00

Things change.

Things stay the same.

The themes of the last two years.

February 18th marked our two year anniversary of moving to New Jersey. Honestly, I still don't know what's going on. I have no idea where God is taking us - what the next step is - or when change is going to come.

Here's what I do know. As frustrating as it is to be in a hold pattern for the last two years, I believe that God's future plan for us is better than the immediate gratification of what I think we need. I have faith that this journey is to get us ready for God's perfect plan, not Jess's. I am challenged daily to sit and wait. I want to wait as faithfully and patiently as Joseph. I mean, come on, he was given a clear vision of what his future would look like. Yet as his life twisted and turned in ways that seemed to not move in line with what he knew, he didn't falter. He didn't get angry when he was sold as a slave. He didn't ask "why?" every day he was in prison after being falsely accused. He didn't pray for his future, telling God how to get him there. He didn't wonder. He didn't break.

Here's the other thing I know. We are healing. Our family at Sovereign Grace Church has been the most amazing support, encouragement, and life line we could have asked for. We are being challenged to see our sin. We are growing in care for others. We are growing in our love for the God who controls everything. Challenged to take that love out. Share it. Live it. For real.

I know that without moving here I would have never home schooled the kids. I know that for our family this is the best option for us. I know that I am being stretched and my relationships with my kids are growing deeper because of our choice to home school. I am so grateful to get to stay home and influence their lives 24/7. A lot of days it's exhausting. By 6pm, I'm done. I am learning to put aside my desires and wants, not just for the day, but in every minute. Because, sometimes, that's what it takes to get through the minute.

Finally, this is what I know. Ultimately, I know nothing. Things can change in the blink of an eye. This is a hard place for me to be. I am being stretched in what and who I put my trust in. I am walking blind along a path that is dark. But I hold onto hope (this is my light), knowing that He who began a good work in me, is faithful to complete it.

Shine on.

Just a bunch of fun pictures of the kids

2011-01-15T12:36:00.000-05:00

Here are pictures from the last month. Enjoy.

Esther and Olivia can often be found doing photo shoots. Yes, this is Esther, on top of a dresser, laying on a pillow, posing like a model. Hilarious!

Gideon in front of the tree. Photo by Olivia.

Nora with her cousin, Finn. She loves him.

Nora and Esther. Again, the ears were a prop of the photo shoot. Photo by Olivia.

Olivia and Esther in the middle of a photo shoot. Photo by Garrett.

This picture was taken by Garrett, while I was in the kitchen. It actually annoys me, because it's one of the best pictures of the kids I've seen to date. And it was organized by Liv and taken by Garrett. Amazing what they can get accomplished when they work together.

Garrett's turn for a picture, because he wasn't in the last one.

More posing. Photo by Garrett.

I love this picture! Photo by Esther.

Sisters

Big brother, little sister love.

Self-portrait

Nora and Gid "playing" the DS's.

Nora and her cousin, Joshua.

Esther and her ~~partner in crime~~ best cousin, Avery.

Garrett reading to Nora. I love these moments.

Gideon and Nora. Another sweet moment.

After we took down the tree, Esther found the tree skirt and thought it was a perfect spin-a-round skirt. And she was right!

Sleeping sardines with the Crisp kids.

Nora, really into the dancing.

The 3 olders watching TV on our bed. Right before I took this, Garrett was playing with Esther's hair. Again, with the sweet moments.

Gideon enjoying the snow.

Nora eating the snow.

Christmas, Christmas, and more Christmas!!

2011-01-15T12:13:00.000-05:00

Christmas went on for weeks this year. Here are a couple of the times we were with family to celebrate Christmas.

Grandma and Grandpa Ledbetter with the Crisp great-grandchildren.

The John Crisp family. We are so blessed.

Gideon opening presents with Uncle Steve.

The Crisp men. From left to right. Eric, Mike, Steve, John (Pa-pa) and Josh.

Christmas with my Nana and Pop-pop. The kids waiting patiently.

Olivia likes her toes socks.

Nora liked them too!!

Garrett excited about his microscope.

Christmas with my family. The one year olds, Brynn, Nora, and Joshua.

Brynn and Nora.

All the kids (minus Finn, the newest baby) ready to open presents.

Watch out Grammy, you might get trampled!!

Pretend the date says Dec. 27th

2011-01-15T12:01:00.000-05:00

Wow! We had such a wonderful Christmas so far! Of course, right in the middle of all the Christmasing, we can't forget about our beautiful Esther's birthday. Our little princess joined our family 5 years ago today! She is 100% girl. Spinning dresses, make-up, princesses and modeling are among her favorite things.

The Crisp sister's all dressed up for the ball.

Princess Esther on her birthday.

Esther's request, a princess cake. It was made of pull away cupcakes. Definitely the way to go, there were no leftovers the next day!!

Happy 5th Birthday Esther Victoria.

(Now, can you all STOP growing up? It's taking a real toll on this mommas heart!)

Pretend the date says Dec. 17th

2011-01-15T11:49:00.000-05:00

Our December was crazy! We had two birthday celebrations, at least 5 Christmas celebrations, and lots of fun with friends and family. In all the craziness, I have failed miserably on blogging life. So here's the first of many, that will hopefully catch everyone up.

Dec. 17 marked Olivia's 8th birthday. Olivia wait so patiently for daddy to get home from a long day at work before she got to open her presents. As I frosted her cake, she came over to me and said, "Mom? Maybe when I'm a mom and I have an 8 year old I will put an 8 on her cake with frosting."

Well, that hint couldn't have been any bigger, she wanted an 8 on her cake. Too bad I had already frosted the whole thing in chocolate frosting, and didn't have any other kind in the house. So, I got creative. I made a template of an 8 out of a cereal box and filled in the 8 with sprinkles. She was really happy with the result and I was happy to not destroy my daughter's 8th birthday by not having an 8 on her cake.

Happy birthday to you Olivia Joy. More blogs to come on what she's been up to and what a beautiful girl she is becoming.

A Maryland Thanksgiving

2010-12-01T15:27:00.000-05:00

This year for Thanksgiving, we took the quick 3 hour trip to Maryland to visit the other Crisp family. It's always fun to get the kids together, and heck, it's fun for the adults too! We enjoyed sitting around in our jammies all day, playing games, doing puzzles, and a little home improvement project on our long weekend.

Esther on Elijah's shoulders. This happened EVERY day, multiply times a day. These two connected this trip.

Garrett and Micah, the video game boys. They love the Wii the most and play the best together on it. They really encourage one another and keep each other laughing while playing together.

Isaiah patiently waiting for his turn on the Wii.

Me and Amani taking a nap.

The kids saying their Thanksgiving prayer.

Nora eating in a big girl chair.

This was lunch one day. This is more what meal times looked like!

Garrett and Isaiah playing checkers. Garrett is thrilled that I'm taking his picture.

Chilling out watching a movie. Right before I snapped this pic, Esther had her head resting on Elijah's shoulder - so much love!

My husband goes a little crazy with nothing to do after a couple of days. Erin gladly put him to work on ripping out the carpet in the entry way of the house. The carpet was no problem. The linoleum was a different story. Not sure what they were going to find under it cause some concern but didn't stop the progress. After ripping up the floor, they found, perfectly good hard wood, barely effected by the elements!

What they did find was lots of little, yet strong, staples that were holding the flooring down. After some trial and error, they figured out how to get the staples out without breaking them and with no damage to the floor. Way to go guys!

They're going to love me for this picture, don't you think?!?!?

Same gamers, new day.

Aunt Erin had lots of helpers in the kitchen. Isaiah and Gideon were on duty this night.

More games.

Olivia rockin' it out on Guitar Hero.

Horse rides courtesy of Elijah and Olivia.

Gaming again.

Another 3 year old

2010-11-22T15:27:00.001-05:00

To my sweet Gideon. You are joy, laughter, sweetness and sass all wrapped into one little boy. You love playing outside but always with someone. Riding your bike, jumping on the trampoline and swinging (yourself) on the swing are your favorite activities. You eat non-stop, until dinner when you, all of a sudden, don't like anything.

You are potty trained, much to my amazement and delight. I was ready to go into your pre-school years fighting you, but you have surprised me. . .THANK YOU!

You love your blankie, your family, your Aunt Ange, napping with your P-pop, and Mickey Mouse Club House. You love getting in the dryer with Nora, wrestling with Garrett, singing and dancing.

Most of all you love to play the guitar and drums. At church you always want to go on stage to sing and can always be found "drumming" the seat in front of us to the beat of the song. You are a joy and a light in our day. Love you my Thanksgiving baby. Happy Birthday Gid.

Halloween weekend

2010-10-31T20:20:00.000-04:00

Here are the highlights of our halloween weekend. Saturday we hung out together - just relaxing. That evening we headed to the Medford parade, a long-time family tradition.

Enjoying hot chocolate while they wait for the parade to start.

Mom, Dad and Indy join the picture.

This kids interacting with the pirate. Garrett wanted to know where his eye patch was.

Love him!

The daddy's with the 1 year olds.

The grandchildren did not want to get a picture all together.

Esther as a princess.

Olivia as a butterfly.

Garrett as some sort of Bakugon (sp) character.

Gideon the giraffe.

Nora the pumpkin with all the kids.

How do you potty train?

2010-10-25T16:52:00.000-04:00

It has begun. Potty training with Gideon. I have a feeling we will be in this for a long time. I am not encouraged at his lack of enthusiasm or bribeability (if that's even a word). However, I am able to get him to sit on the potty for long amounts of time. And have had success with him actually going #1 on the potty, so we press on.

The kids can often be found reading to him. And he is often sitting on the potty in front of the TV. Neither scenario works for him. . .see below for his trigger.

All alone in the closet - then he will go.

And he must be all alone, NOT playing peek-a-boo with Nora. Even if it is so cute.

What I like about Garrett

2010-10-05T13:23:00.001-04:00

Homeschooling gives me a unique opportunity to daily see my children living life. I know these are things that I would find out eventually, but in a matter of 2 weeks I have learned so much about my second child. He has been such a pleasant surprise to home school. Last year, we took it easy with kindergarten. He enjoyed himself and we didn't push it too hard. Knowing what was coming this year, because I did it with Olivia last year, I was worried about him. I worried that he would be unfocused, unmotivated, and just plain uninterested. He has proven me wrong!! This kid is determined to get his work done, and get it done fast. We are working on doing your work efficiently and with your best effort, not necessarily as fast as you can go. When I give him seat work, he sets to his task. Most of the time there's no tears, arguing, or whining. I am amazed when I look down after giving him a paper how much he's gotten finished without a word. He doesn't look around at what Olivia is doing, he doesn't try to catch a glimpse of the TV in the other room, he just does his work. I love it! And him!

And then there's his art. This kid is NOTHING like Josh or I in this area. Josh is artistic, but his creations never come out the way he pictures, so he doesn't enjoy the process. I don't like the process, because everything I make looks horrible. Garrett never asks for my help. He creates his masterpieces within the guide lines of the craft, but always strays away to give it his own unique flare. He sits, content in his creativity and final product, like no other kid I've ever seen. I love that he is so different in this area than most of the rest of us in the family.

Garrett's watercolor and crayon name. He did all his letter's himself (the girls both asked for help to make it look like the sample). And his "camo" like painting is nothing like what it was 'suppose' to look like, but he didn't care. . .and I think it looks great.

Just for comparison sake, this is Esther's paper. She started out wanting to write her own name, but quickly asked me to write her name because she didn't like the way it was turning out. Her painting is closer to what the sample looked like, blocks of color separated by the spaces in the letters and lines.

Happy Birthday to my baby.

2010-09-21T21:38:00.000-04:00

It doesn't seem possible that my baby is 1! September 19th was Nora's 1st birthday. She happily walked around being the center of attention, which really isn't anything new since she is the apple of everyone's eyes in this house. She posed nicely for pictures, opened presents, played with cousins, and of course, ate cake. I couldn't have asked for a better day, or a better baby. I love you Nora Lynne.

First day of school

2010-09-07T16:09:00.000-04:00

This year we are once again homeschooling the kids. Thanks to a pep talk from our pastor, Josh is now Principle Daddy/Crisp. He sat down with the three older kids had gave them their marching orders for the year. I'm excited about this year and so are the kids. Esther was busting at the seams with excitement before we started. And Olivia and Garrett were great students on the first day (aren't they all?!?).

Our non-traditional "first day of school" pictures in front of the house.

No shoes for these kids!

No back packs either. But lots of smiles and love.

Nora is almost walking and is so happy about it. I can't believe she's almost one!

Chef Garrett

2010-09-03T15:25:00.000-04:00

The kids love to help me in the kitchen. I let them measure out dry ingredients and pour them in. Olivia's gotten really good at cracking eggs. And when all else is done, stirring is always a good job for a kid. Today I ventured out of those comfort zones and let Garrett cut up some vegetables for our chicken pot pie. After he washed his hands and the veggies I let him go. I sat next to him and diced the chicken while he worked on the celery and carrots. He talked all about being a cook. . .that he was doing so well at cutting up the veggies. . .asking me if the pieces were small enough. He talked about going to a cooking class and making something for me. And how he would bring home the recipe for me to make too, and it would be really good. These are the days I want to remember. Thanks for the quality time buddy, I love you.

Artist and Attitudes

2010-08-24T13:48:00.000-04:00

Check out this masterpiece by my little guy. He's such an artist.

Not sure if he's using that toy lipstick for it's intended purpose or as a microphone.

Either way, he marches to his own drum, and makes me smile all the while.

And, check the attitude on this chick's face. Could she be anymore sassy?

Fire Night

2010-08-24T12:29:00.000-04:00

I have to say, I miss our open fire pit from Michigan. I miss being able to legally have an open fire in your yard. I miss our nights under the stars, telling stories, burning whatever is in the yard, smores, and snuggling. At my parents, we can have these night - with our covered fire pit. It's not the same, but it does the trick. Because, really, it's all about the family time anyway.

Now you know why I used italics to describe our fire pit.

My husband likes a big fire - so there's really no keeping it in!

Garrett likes to burn his marshmallows and eat them still lit.

Just kidding - he was actually blowing this one out!

Esther with a mouth full of marshmallows and P-pop's glove.

Gideon eating out of the smashed bag of marshmallows (courtesy of Garrett).

Daddy and daughter moment.

Nine month old comparisons

2010-08-13T14:31:00.007-04:00

Nora at nine months

Gideon at nine months

Esther at nine months

Garrett at nine months

Olivia at nine months

Do you think they look alike?

Shooting from the shoulder

2010-08-04T14:06:00.006-04:00

What do you do when every picture you take of your little ones turns out like this?

Neither of them looking.

Annoyed because I have to share.

Pulling hair.

Pushing and pouting.

Just wants to be alone.

Just wants to jump.

Here's what I did...shot from the shoulder. I put the camera on my shoulder, pointed and clicked. Here's what I came out with. . .

Better than all the rest!

Then and Now

2010-07-23T17:17:00.001-04:00

Make your own free digital slideshow

Growing up together

2010-07-10T15:17:00.002-04:00

What's better than being best friends with your sister?

Watching

your daughters

become

Best Friends.

A first time for everything

2010-07-05T09:23:00.003-04:00

Church, home, picnic, pool, volleyball, conversation, fireworks with friends and family. This was our itinerary yesterday and unfortunately I didn't take one picture. I'm feeling really sad about it, b/c for the last 3 years, there have been posts about our 4th of July festivities. This year I just missed it.

The memories will not be forgotten. Yesterday we celebrated our 1 year anniversary of attending Sovereign Grace Church. A place that has been a healing agent, an encouragement, and the model of a healthy church. Josh played on the worship team, the kids and I worshiped with friends. We came home, napped the kids, and headed to a picnic to PARTY. When I say party, I mean, 26 adults and 44 kids who represent 14 families in our church. No matter where you looked, be it the pool, the trampoline, the two play sets, there were swarms of kids and many attentive adults. See why I'm so sad to have missed these picture taking opportunities? The picture in your head can't do that visual justice. From there, we headed to Cherry Hill to see the fireworks display. We got there right at starting time, plopped down on the church lawn, with many of our church family, and enjoyed the show. Gideon was not a fan of the fireworks, but the other kids loved it, including Nora.

I may not have pictures of the events of the day, but I did get a picture of Josh and Nora hanging out after nap time.

Daddy's girl (as long as mommy's not around!)!!

These pictures were taken earlier this week. Gideon wanted to share his popsicle with Nora. She was more than happy to take it off his hands.

A long way to go

2010-06-28T14:31:00.005-04:00

There's a place I chose not to live, most of the time. It's taken time, prayer, and recognition of this place to become better at not living there. I think for most parents, this place is familiar. It often times feels safe, it's anything but safe. It can feel controlled, but in reality, is a spinning cycle of uncertainty and self-sufficiency.

This place is called fear and worry. This place manifests itself in many different ways. Fear of the unknown. Fear of man. Worrying about what people think about you. Worry about children, their salvation, their present, their future, their safety. Worry about stuff, not enough money, time, friends. This place can suck you in and suffocate you before you even know what hit you.

This past weekend, I had an opportunity to fall head-long into this place. We were at a birthday party, all of us. Through circumstances beyond my control, Josh had to leave to pick something up. On the way, he ran out of gas. This prolonged his time away from the party significantly, and left me with the 5 kids to manage at a pool party. As the party was winding down, only Garrett remained in the pool. Olivia, Esther, and Gideon were happily playing in the sprinkler. Nora was not so happy, as she was 1 hour over due for her nap and feeding. After waiting as long as I could, I stepped inside the house to nurse Nora. After about a minute, the owner of the house came to the door.

M: "Jess, he's fine. But I wanted to let you know that Gideon got into the pool without his swimmies on and my father-in-law pulled him out." He's fine, just upset."

Me: (completely embarrassed) "Oh...um...okay. Thanks." What am I suppose to do? Nora, nursing. . .Gideon almost drowning. . .Josh not here. . .all these people who I don't know. . .a complete stranger saved my child from drowning. . .oh my, Gideon could have died. . .oh thank you God.

I hurry outside, thank the father-in-law, still embarrassed at my lack of control and manageability at my life. As I walk over to Gideon, I look around to see if people are looking at me, judging me. I would be judging me. He's fine, really fine. Not hysterical, not even crying. He looked a little scared - but that's it. I hug him, ask him if he's ok and remind him that he can't go swimming without swimmies on. I'm not sure if he's catching everything, but I need to say it anyway.

I am thankful that I have come far in not worrying about what I can't control. This day, I choose not to live in a state a guilt over what happened. I choose to not beat myself up, over and over again. I choose not to replay all the "what if" scenarios in my head. I thank God for His grace, perspective, and protection given to me (and Gid) in this day.

I am still working on my fear of man, of what people think of me. Even tonight, as Josh read over this blog, I asked him, "Does it seem like I don't care about my children? Because I don't want people to think that I didn't care what happened. . .because I do. . .I really do. . .I just want people to read it the right way." He gently corrected me and said, I WAS living in that place. I was afraid of what people might think of me, based on how I conveyed the story.

So, I'm still a work in progress. Although I have come a long way from where I once lived in the place of fear and worry, evidently, I have a LONG way to go. This work will be completed in me, thanks be to God!

Safe in daddy's arms.

The kiddie pool is better suited for him.

Or the slip n' slide.

For Nana

2010-06-14T16:02:00.002-04:00

Here are some cute pictures of the kids for Nana. Because Josh's mom doesn't have FB, she often misses the pictures I post there. So, here you go, Nana - enjoy!

Nora almost 9 months old. Teething, crawling, and cruising.

Olivia and Esther, little ladies.

Garrett and Gideon.

Can't you feel the love?

Daddy and Gideon in the pool.

Swing set fun!

Can you guess?

2010-05-24T11:44:00.002-04:00

Can you guess what this face got today?

With all the dirt and mess?

And all the cuteness and sass?

This face got

these hands,

and these hands

to set up our TRAMP!!

Yay for hours and hours of jumping fun!!

Who is your hero?

2010-05-22T15:55:00.004-04:00

The other night at care group, we were asked the ice-breaker question of "Who is your hero?" I didn't have much time to think about it, but I didn't need time. The answer was easy. As silly and backwards as this may sound coming from the 'older sister', Ange is my hero. As I thought about why, that was easy too, everything that I lack - every shortcoming I see in myself, I see in her as her strength. We are far from perfect - all of us. But, if there was someone whose positive qualities I want to emulate in my everyday life, it's Ange.

Unlike me, she naturally and sacrificially LOVES all children, deeply. Her eyes light up at the sight of not only her own children, but also, her nieces and nephews. And now that we live close to each other, I see how beautifully she loves all the children that are in her house on a weekly basis.

And while we are talking about her house. . .yet another reason she's my hero. Her house, IS her ministry to the world. It is her way of giving back, to her God, her family (even though we don't deserve it), and her community. She has altered my thinking in what we can do with what we are given, and for that, I thank her.

Have I mentioned that Ange is an amazing mother? She challenges me daily, to take a breath, think before I answer, and love not just in word, but in deed. Whether that is going above and beyond in action, or taking a minute to hug and kiss my kids, just because I can. She can often be seen taking a minute to sing with, dance around, or build with her children. I hope her girls will come to know how special their mom is.

Ange, on this day, your 29th birthday, I pray that you will know you are loved. I pray you will know that because of you, I am a better wife, mother, friend, and sister. I want you to know that YOU are my hero. You make the world a beautiful place to be, as you live and love.

Nora

2010-05-14T22:21:00.005-04:00

I'm sure you've heard the saying that the last child in the family never has pictures to show for their childhood. This is not the case for our littlest Crisp. It may be that I love to take pictures. It may be that I love taking pictures with our new camera. It may be that I swore I WOULD take pictures of all my kids as much as possible. Whatever the reason, it doesn't really matter, Nora will have memories of her childhood. Whether it be

Swinging with her sisters,

climbing on the dog,

and her brother.

Without her binkie

or with it.

Sitting in the grass

or learning how to stand on her own.

Smiling happily

or enduring another maul session by well-meaning, loving sibling.

But most of all, I hope she sees that her family loves her, and always will.

Just because. . .

2010-05-02T16:20:00.002-04:00

. . .they are SO cute!

Just some cute shots of the 2 littlest Crisp kids. Gid is talking more and more clearly and Nora is "inch worm" crawling and almost going to sitting from the belly position.

Sunday Silliness

2010-04-18T20:29:00.005-04:00

Where do you eat your Sunday afternoon meal? In our house, we thought (actually, it all happened by chance) that it would be fun to eat lunch on the kitchen floor.

It started because I placed Nora on the floor, while I got the older kids sandwiches made.

It wasn't long until the other kids joined her on the floor for an impromptu indoor picnic.

You'll notice that one child is missing. She took her picnic outside. There's always one that marches to their own beat.

And that was just the beginning of our silliness for the day.

Our next bit of silliness comes from a crazy new fad called silly bands. Heard of them? No? Well, I'm sure it won't be long before your children ages 4-18 are asking for them. I hadn't heard of them until about a week ago. Olivia told me about them. Her description, "Mom, they are like hair bands, but in the shape of things, like cars, animals, food. And you wear them on your wrist." Needless to say, I was less than impressed. Sounded kinda, pointless. A couple of days ago Olivia came in the house with one on her wrist, a neighborhood boy gave her one. Over the course of a couple of days, she had been given a hand full. Then last night at a fundraiser event, she saw a friend and went to talk to her. She came back with a new silly band, that she traded with this friend. So, I guess the point, isn't just that you wear color, shaped rubber bands on your wrists. They are for giving away and trading. . .I think. Still sounded kinda pointless to me, but if they are giving them away and trading them, they are learning life skills. . .right?

Regardless, I caved to the fad and searched high and low so my kids arms could look like this.

On the arm, they don't look like much. Here's what they look like off arm.

Can you guess what they are? And the two red triangle thingys are different.

The kids organizing and trading.

There was such a small selection at the store I was in, that I had to settle for an open package of fast food bands and Yankees bands. Or, as my husband calls it, the Evil Empire. And, he has trained Garrett well. When G saw the Yankees symbol, he said, "Yuck!" And didn't take any of those for his collection.

More trading.

There was some complaining about who had what and how many one kid had over the other. I threatened to take them away for good, and Olivia said, "That's what Aunt Bev told Nick and Sarah (ages 11 and 13)." Like I said, a fad. I don't quite get it, but then again, what was the big deal about jellies??

these beautiful faces

2010-04-08T21:29:00.003-04:00

Love these faces!

Love, Love, Love them.

I don't always like their attitudes.

Especially about having their picture taken.

But I still love capturing the moments. . .and the faces.

The dirty face.

The angelic face.

The beauty.

Mullet no more

2010-04-06T20:17:00.005-04:00

Many of you, especially those of you on facebook, will remember Josh looking like this in many of his recent pictures. If you don't, and you're friends with either, him or I on facebook, just take a look at some of the pictures from this past winter. He wore a 'beanie' daily to keep warm while he worked at the shop and used it as an accessory most days. Truth be told, I REALLY liked it. I loved the little curls that came out from under the hat at his neck, he looked hot. :)

Fast forward to these days. When the weather is hot and a beanie isn't the best accessory.

This

what

you

get!!

Don't be frightened by the man looking at you! It is the same guy!

However, NOT my favorite look for him.

After much begging and pleading, he reluctantly said I could cut it.

Mid-cut, we thought about a mo hawk. . .nah, Garrett's got that style covered.

All done! One happy wife. For a moment, one sad for himself hubby.

Until he sees how happy his wife is, and then he's happy too!

Spring Break

2010-03-31T13:55:00.005-04:00

We had a ton of fun the last week with our Kentucky cousins who came to Jersey to visit. Although the weather didn't corporate the whole time, we made the best of our time together! Lots of Wii, movies, and some time out of the house filled our days. It's great to see them build relationships with each other and make memories! We love our Kentucky cousins!!

Nora at the park. She's killing me these days. Teething and not sleeping make for one tired mommy.

Micah and Garrett.

Esther

Lij killin' it on the monkey bars.

Gid on the rock wall.

Just monkeying around.

Olivia making music.

Micah caught having a good time playing.

Both so serious.

Love the static!!

Esther and Isaiah

Liv and Lij

Gid getting some help from Isaiah.

The kids all lined up. SO MUCH FUN!!

So much to say

2010-03-22T20:38:00.002-04:00

I've got tons to say. Tons. I just don't have a cohesive way to put it all together. The next couple of blogs show what we've been up to. Maybe I'll be inspired and have more to write later. . .until then, enjoy.

Happy Birthday Garrett

2010-03-22T20:29:00.002-04:00

Garrett turned 6 last Wednesday and we had lots of fun celebrating. We spent the morning doing school (you don't get the day off just b/c you're homeschooled and it's your birthday), the afternoon at a park, and the evening with my mom and dad for presents and cake. I was making cupcakes for our playgroup the next day, so I took Garrett to the supermarket to let him pick out his own cake. And, like a true St. Patty's Day baby, he went for the holiday cake, over the birthday cakes. I love my boy!

He didn't even know it was a leprechaun - he just kept calling it his "smiley face cake". Whatever makes you happy, buddy!

Getting a picture of Garrett is near to impossible these days. He's ALWAYS on the move! Here's a collage of our attempt at getting a picture of him for his birthday blog.

I think it shows exactly what he is like at this age!

Happy Birthday Garrett.

Spring time

2010-03-22T20:16:00.002-04:00

You know it's starting to warm up when. . .

babies have bare feet outside. . .

bikes are dusted off

and ridden ALL day.

Chalk colors the pavement. . .

and any other concrete matter.

Happy Spring Everyone!

The 'eyes' have it

2010-03-22T20:12:00.003-04:00

He's not as scary as he looks.

I know, I'm in trouble!

Piercing blues

Wide eyed wonder

It's all about You

2010-03-15T21:08:00.004-04:00

Almost 9 years ago, I stood on a stage with my future husband and sang along with my sister as she sang this song.

It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You
For Your glory and your fame
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God
And I surrender to your ways

Jesus, lover of my soul
All consuming fire is in Your gaze
Jesus, I want you to know
I will follow you all my days
For no one else in history is like you
And history itself belongs to you
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
And I will share eternity with You

At the time, I was singing to God, in the moment. That our marriage, the ceremony, was about Him. To an extent, I guess I was thinking about our future - but mostly I was in the moment.

I was sincere in my worship that day, but looking back, I had no idea what our future would look like. And if I had known, been given even a glimpse of our path, I'm not sure I would have sang with such conviction and certainty.

Two weeks ago in church, we sang that same song. And as I thought back to that stormy night 9 years ago, I smiled at my innocence. That night, it was just the two of us. The words of that song took on a whole new meaning Sunday morning, as we stood with our 5 children singing.

It was like an "Ah-ha" moment.

"Ohhhh. God, this is what you meant? All THIS, THEM, ME, US? Back THEN, right HERE, right NOW, FOREVER? IT'S all about YOU.

These beautiful children aren't about me? DARN!

That time in Indiana and Michigan wasn't about me? I was a pastor's wife, you know. Come to think of it, we went through some pretty awful stuff because of Your ministry, there's got to be something in there for me!

No?

And now? Now that we live in Jersey. . .we're here to heal, right?"

I AM.

It's all about You (this beautiful life You've blessed me with)

And all this is for you (Olivia, Garrett, Esther, Gideon, and Nora)

For Your glory and Your fame (To God be the glory)

It's not about me (not one single moment)

As if you should do things my way (You are the author and perfecter of my faith)

You alone are God (I lay my pride down)

And I surrender to your ways (To God be the glory)

Our life in Black and White

2010-03-13T14:34:00.003-05:00

I bet you thought this was going to be a disclosure about our deepest, darkest secrets, based on the title. Well, you were wrong. It's just some beautiful black and whites of our five gorgeous children, who ARE our life.

Garrett doing some pre-bedtime reading to mom. Notice how serious he is.

Nora giving daddy smiles.

Gid being a stinker.

"Strike a pose!"

"CHEESE!"

Yes, I noticed the food on both girls faces - but do I care? Nope. (it wasn't too long ago that I would have cared)! Such is life with lots of small children - wiping faces is not always a priority.

Chuck E. Cheese

2010-03-04T10:13:00.004-05:00

I hate Chuck E. Cheese. Don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of partying there, as both the host and the attendee. And no matter how you slice it, it's stimulus overkill. The kids are treated to their every whim, games galore, tickets spit out at them, in order to treat them to a prize (which are displayed, with the number of tickets needed, so that the kids want more and more). Soda and pizza, cake and candy. It's every child's dream. And every parent's nightmare. After a three hour stint there on Monday, this mom was done. The only redeeming thing to come out of that place are the sketch photo's that cost only one token. I am always pleasantly surprised at the quality and clarity these pictures come out with. Not to mention that the date is printed on them, so I'll never have to ask, "when was this taken?" I wish I knew where to find all our pictures like this, so I could do a comparison - these will have to do for now.

Mommy and Nora

Kylie and Esther

Olivia, Jon and Garrett

Gideon and Mommy

Olivia - getting more and more beautiful!

Esther, a beautiful cheeser.

Mommy and Esther

About a boy

2010-02-26T21:15:00.003-05:00

I know a boy who is tough, eager, impulsive, sweet, stubborn, full of energy and crashes hard. This boy can push everyone of my buttons before 8 am and every hour there after. This boy can, after pushing one of those buttons, completely melt my heart with his big brown eyes and sweet gestures. This boy remembers what it's like to sit all alone at the dinner table long after everyone else is finished, and now chooses to keep his younger sister company while she finishes her dinner. This boy surprises me daily as he learns to read and compute, both of which he is amazing at and loves to do. This boy loves to clean and organize (on his time of course). He can often be found, making all the beds, organizing toys and putting away clothes, all in secret, just to surprise his mom.

This boy will. . .

try to sled down a snow pile and think it's fun, even when it failed.

This boy will. . .

succeed at EVERYTHING he puts his mind to, because he's got "it". Whatever "it" is.

This boy will. . .

never be as special to ANY woman as he is to his mom.

P.S. - This was originally published on our family blog, Crisp Happenings.

What you get

2010-02-23T20:49:00.002-05:00

Here's what a 2 year old captures with a camera. . .

Here's what a 4 year old captures with a camera. . .

Here's what a 7 year old captures with a camera. . .

And that's what you get when the digital world rules. Without it, my children would not have the luxury of taking pictures. Thank you digital cameras for giving me these moments.

Oh, and a small confession: The picture of Gideon was taken by me (not Es) - but it was just too cute to leave out.

P.S. - The post was originally published on our family blog, Crisp Happenings.

Anniversary

2010-02-18T21:00:00.006-05:00

One year ago, on February 18th we packed our lives into a truck. We made a last minute decision to forgo sleeping on the floor in the empty parsonage for one last night and instead, started our cross country trip to our new life in New Jersey. We had dinner at our friends house at 6pm and by 7, were saying some tough goodbyes to dear Michigan friends.

Packed to the limit, we started our journey. Josh and Indy in the rental truck. Me and the four kids (baby in utero) in the van. We weren't sure when or where we would stop for the night, but wanted to get as far as we could. At around 1 am on the morning of February 19th we pulled off in western PA. Desperate for a bed and some much needed sleep, I went to the front desk to see what the damage would be for a last minute room for the night. I guess it was the weary look in my eyes that caused the man behind the counter to have compassion and only charge us $60.00 dollars for a 100.00 dollar room.

Sleep.

The morning greeted us with some snow flurries, nothing we were worried about. The kids were excited to eat breakfast at the hotel's continental spread (okay, so were the parents!). We filled up on waffles, bagels, cereal and OJ. One less meal to buy on the road. The whole hotel experience was refreshing. Looking back, I see our needs being met in such huge ways. Ways I didn't see at the time.

After following the slowly moving truck for a couple of hours, I said goodbye to my husband and picked up the pace. I beat him by a little more than an hour. I can't tell you what I was feeling when I pulled into my parents driveway. One reason may be that I knew it wasn't our last stop. I knew we had so much more to do.

Wait for Josh. Let him stretch out. Unload the truck and repack the truck with our necessities for our next stop. Drive to our temporary home. Feel out our new home and the amazing people who inhabited there. Unpack the truck. Set up our sleeping space. Feed our family. You get the point.

I forgot one thing that I had to do. And it was major.

Check my pride at the door.

I am overwhelmed by the generosity of so many people who have cared for us in the past year. Tangibly loving us. Selflessly giving to us - not asking anything in return. It's way more than I deserve and can EVER repay.

So blessed

2010-02-17T10:33:00.005-05:00

Seriously, I am so blessed. Josh and I were talking the other night, about our plans. You know, the ones we had almost 9 years ago when we got married. Our plans of having 3 children, about him being a pastor, about our kids starting school, AT a school. Ahhh, how life changes. At the time, Josh would have been happy to stop at 2 kids and we thought about what life would look like if we only had Olivia and Garrett. Both in school all day, the quiet in the house, me probably working outside the home. And you know what? It didn't sound better than the reality we live in. Five kids, at home all day, with me, the stay at home mom. The noise that is deafeningly joyous and at times, excruciatingly painful. I'm sure, if we didn't know any different we would be happy with our 2 kids, but thankfully, we do know differently.

I am blessed beyond comprehension. Overjoyed to live in my chaos lined in peace.

Nora is almost 5 moths old, rolling from belly to back and almost has back to belly. She lights up when any of her siblings talks to her - and definitely isn't the 'forgotten fifth child'.

Nora and her biggest brother, Garrett.

I could kiss everyone of their faces - couldn't you?? (And notice the shirts that Gideon and Esther have on. . .they LOVE their Colts jerseys).

Our circle of love.

Blessed, blessed, blessed!!!!

P.S. - If you are reading this on Facebook, it was originally published on our family blog, Crisp Happenings.

Never before

2010-02-16T13:26:00.003-05:00

Never before have I participated in Lent. Never before has there been something so a part of my life, that I felt compelled to give it up. Caffeine wouldn't do, I gave that up for pregnancies and nursing, for a time. TV - done that too - really not that tough. I know people who give up meat, soda, a bad attitude (although I don't think that one really can count, b/c that's awfully hard to control).

So I've got my "sacrifice". I use quotations because in the big picture what I'm giving up for the next 40 days is nothing compared to what Jesus gave up for me. And isn't that what this is all about? A preparation for the Holy Week, culminating with Easter. So I will deny myself, based on my human desires and temptations and prayerfully walk through the next 40 days, expectant of a fresh perspective on my God and my life.

I don't really know the rules to Lent, if you're suppose to talk about what it is you're giving up, but I'm going to anyway. Mostly because, if you know me at all, you'll know how much this is going to test me, and would love the prayers of my friends.

I hope to blog more in this time and hopefully, will be able to share what it is God is teaching me while I fast. . .from Facebook.

It's just a game

2010-02-08T15:09:00.006-05:00

There we were. Ready. Donning our new Colts jerseys (and anonymous gift to our family). The food was prepared. The kids were tucked away in a far off room (well, upstairs). Let the game begin. . .and end. . .sadly. We are so sad not to be celebrating a Colts win today, but as I look at the world at large, and even at the lives of those all around me, I am pleasantly reminded that, IT'S JUST A GAME. That's all.

So, Rest in Peace Colts season. Thanks for the ride. And next year, let's do it all over again (except win the BIG one, OK?!?!).

We were so blessed by our jerseys that surprised us on our doorstep a couple of weeks ago. Each member of the family got their own. Here's the rundown of who got which player.

Josh - #44 - Dallas Clark

Jess - #18 - Peyton Manning

Olivia - #29 - Joseph Addai

Garrett - #93 - Dwight Freeney

Esther - #21 - Bob Sanders

Gideon - #87 - Reggie Wayne

Nora - #18 - Peyton Manning

Hold us Together

2010-01-11T22:44:00.007-05:00

It seems to me, that God is doing a major overhaul of my heart, mind, and soul. In the past year, God has taken every opportunity that life handed me to teach me something about Himself and His glory. And, I'd like to say, for the record, that it's painful, heart-wrenching, and exciting. But this shouldn't be a surprise to any of you, because I am a broken record when it comes to our life right now.

Today's events, have once again got me resting in His promises. And more than any other instance, surprised me and tested me. Like a slap in the face, a stub of the toe, a kick in the gut, here's what happened.

As the kids and I left my sister's house, I cranked up the radio (my kids love KLOVE), ready to rock all the way home. But, as we stopped at the traffic light headed out of the development, Garrett asked, "Mom? I want to have an a-p-art. . .thing." Gasp. . .cough. . .pray. I knew what was coming. "Um, what do you mean?" He continues, "Like what Aunt Ange had before her house, I want to live in one of those." Oh Lord, help me keep it together. "An apartment?

Why?" "I want to live by ourselves again. We need our own house." Okay God, I know where you want me to go with this, thank you.

You see, for a while now, Josh and I have really tried to use the words 'need' and 'want' correctly. So, as soon as he said, "we NEED our own house" I knew what lesson God was wanting me teach our children and at the same time, using this opportunity to reaffirm His promises to us.

I walked through things that we NEED. Food, (maybe not even three meals a day), heat when it's cold, shelter from the wind, rain, and snow, and most of all, love. Which, I was able to let them know we had LOTS of. But even with the 7 of us - we have all we need! We are blessed abundantly with the love of our family and friends. As we talked through this, we were able to come up with so many things to be thankful for and at the same time, was able to teach them that God wants us to go to Him when we have requests. I shared that mommy and daddy would love to be able to give them a house to live in, but aren't able to at this time. So, if they wanted, they could ask God to give us a house. They seemed satisfied with that and asked me to turn up the radio. After I did, I noticed that it was unusually quiet the rest of the ride home.

I was excited to tell Josh about the interaction, only to share the truths that God taught our children this day. I knew, just as I initially felt like a failure and unsatisfactory when this subject came up, he would feel much, much more. Through tears I shared the story and watched my husband's face fall in shame. Leaning over, placing his arms on the counter, his head fell between his hands, his heart filled with sadness. I knew it would take him longer to see God's promises. I turned to finish dinner and started praying.

He remained distant the rest of the night. Prayer time at bedtime was hope filled and humble, ending with daddy saying a prayer for our family. As I write this blog, he is on the couch listening to a song on his phone, really loud. So loud, that I turn to ask him what he's listening to and to ask him to turn it down because I can't even hear myself think. Before I get to the 'turn it down part' he says with a smile (the first smile I've seen all night), "This song was just what I needed to hear tonight. Did you hear it?" I tell him no, because I was blogging and trying to concentrate, but couldn't because of how loud the music was. He starts the song over for me. Here are the lyrics by Matt Maher:

"It don't have a job

Don't pay your bills 
Won't buy you a home 
 In Beverly Hills 

Won't fix your life

And find easy steps 
Ain't the low or the limp
Or the government 
But as soon you needed... 
 Love, will, hold us together 
Make us a shelter 
to weather the storm 
And I'll, be, my brothers keeper 
So the whole world will know 
That we're not alone

It's waiting for you 
Knockin' at your door 
Every moment of truth

When your heart hits the floor 
When you're on your knees then... 
 Love, will, hold us together  
Make us a shelter  to weather the storm  
And I'll, be, my brothers keeper  
So the whole world will know  That we're not alone 
This is the first, day of the rest of your life

This is the first, day of the rest of your life

'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light
It's gonna be alright, 's gonna be alright."

Thank you God, for that breath of fresh air and for

answering prayers so quickly and in your time.

We wait on you.

copy cat

2010-01-07T22:53:00.002-05:00

I read this on MckMama's blog (actually an abridged version, credited to Mother Theresa) and then one of her followers found the original and shared it. Either way, I love it.

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

What did Josh and Eric do on our vacation?

2010-01-04T16:02:00.004-05:00

I think these pictures speak for themselves. . .and give you the answer to the question.

Seriously, the boys didn't just play on their phones the whole time, but could often be found "playing" together like this. We did play games, wrestle with the kids, play guitars and sing, and have great conversation while we were together too. It was a great time of rest and play. More pictures to come!

A Seven Year Old

2009-12-21T21:56:00.003-05:00

My baby turned 7 on the 17th (tear. . .)

Olivia, you are the best big sister, daughter, student, and babysitter. You excel at most everything you try and make me so proud when you persist in a task. You are learning to express yourself beautifully, and if I may say, a little too quickly. Babies love you. Your peers adore you. Your siblings look to you to lead. Mom and dad are so proud of the beautiful young lady you are becoming.

Daddy and I want you to know that we will always be there to encourage you, guide you and cheer you on. We want you to come to us when you need anything and trust us as your best friends. We aren't perfect and will make mistakes, but we will always be here for you. We won't always be able to protect you from the hurts in life, (even though we wish we could) but we will hurt with you and love you through it.

Happy Birthday Babe - You are LOVED!

Best Baby Ever

2009-12-15T15:39:00.002-05:00

HELLO World! My name is Eleanor Lynne, my family calls me Nora. Well, except my biggest brother Garrett, he likes to call me Eleanor, but mom and dad don't mind, they think it's kind of cute. I am in the running to win the Best Baby Ever contest, held by my mom. Let me tell you why you should vote for me. . .

1. I've been sleeping through the night since I was 8 weeks old. Once in a while, I like a little snack in the middle of the night, but overall I love my sleep.

2. As long as I don't have to burp, I will lay down awake in my bed and go to sleep on my own. I know, I know, most babies eat to go to sleep or have to be rocked, but not me, I can get myself to sleep just fine. And being the youngest of 5 kids, mommy really likes this about me.

3. I am really cute. My specialty is a little squeal. When I try to talk, laugh and while I'm smiling, you can often hear my scare myself with my squeal, which makes it all the more cute.

I could go on and on about how great I am - but the rules state that I can only tell you three great things about myself. So there you go, folks. Vote for me!!

Oh, him. . .that's my big brother Gideon, he's two now, and can't be considered for this prize. But he sure is cute, don't ya' think?

Gideon Joshua

2009-11-26T22:17:00.002-05:00

Gideon Joshua - def. - Every ones favorite blond haired, brown eyed boy. Stinker to the core, but too cute to care. Carrier of his blankie and sucker of the thumb. Talks in babble, screams in tantrums, gets what he wants. . .most of the time. Spoiled by siblings. Rider of a tricycle, loves to be outside, often found shirtless kind of kid. Door greeter, knee hugger, kiss stealer. Loves his baby sister. Wary of the ocean. Shy in new groups of people. Escape artist of the church nursery. Karate kickin', paper colorin', thinks he's bigger than he is, light of our life.

We love you Gid man - your smile will always melt my heart.

Gideon on his 2nd birthday enjoying his cupcake.

It made me cry

2009-11-22T15:58:00.002-05:00

THIS made me cry.

The pen/pencil holder from the desk at our old house.

Why? You ask. Because it's part of my life that is packed away in HERE.

Because the reality of life being packed upstairs in my parents garage doesn't bother me until I go digging through boxes looking for my STUFF.

This is 90% of our STUFF. The STUFF that filled our home. That held the kids clothes, decorated the walls, kept the kids warm at night, and served dinner every night for 8 years.

Now IT collects dust and cob webs.

Look in the bottom right hand side of this picture, is a curved piece of wood, the end of our crib. The crib all of our children have slept in, EXCEPT Nora. I want her to sleep in it. I wonder if she will ever get to.

I know it seems like a silly thing to cry about, but I did.

And wonder, "What ARE you doing, God?"

Just some thoughts

2009-11-10T10:42:00.004-05:00

A family member recently told me she was in awe at how patient we've been through this 'waiting' time we are in. Until she said that, I hadn't really thought about how much waiting we've been doing or the fact that we still have no clear direction as far as our next step. God has definitely been growing us and as painful as it can be, I have an overwhelming peace about the future and all the waiting.

Don't get me wrong, I have days of discontentment, frustration and overwhelming anger - but these days are few, for that I am thankful. I know that my peace comes only from my God and that He is answering the prayers of soooo many of you who have lifted us up daily.

When I have those negative feelings, I really have to remember ALL the promises that God gave to us and know that through our obedience, He will be glorified, but only if I remain focused on His will, not my own.

I remain so content with my life. I don't think words can adequately express my contentment with our living situation, our church, our marriage, Josh's job, homeschooling the kids, our friends, the kids' friends, and relying on God to provide our every need.

To God be the Glory.

All the kids cuddled up with daddy (Uncle Josh) at a family wedding shower this past weekend. I know I can speak for Josh and say that he NEVER thought he'd have 5 kids - but he's a natural. I love watching him father and train our children.

Again, Josh on kid duty at the shower. Gideon, Owen (my cousins little guy), and Nora (laying in front of Josh). How handsome is he? I love him!

Lessons through Vanity

2009-11-03T12:59:00.006-05:00

You know the feeling you get when God hears your prayers and answers them the way YOU thought HE should.

Yeah, me either.

Because when it comes to the real issues of life, God's plans usually don't match up with ours. And thank goodness they don't, because in the end, God's plans are always better, safer, and a more pleasant surprise than we could have even imagined. I know I've shared this thought a million times, but I was reminded again this morning when I was talking to Nora.

My thought process was a little jumbled, so hopefully you'll be able to follow me as I go down this road.

At six weeks of age, Nora is starting to smile at people. There is such joy when your baby looks at you and you see recognition in her eyes. Even when they can't quite get their mouth to curl up on the ends, you see the smile in their eyes. It's just about the most glorious thing your eyes can see. As she smiled and sparkled at me, I looked at her dark blue eyes I was thankful. Not because she is here with us (although I am thankful for that). But BECAUSE she had blue eyes.

Here's the background. When Olivia was born, I was expecting, whole heartily, that our child would have dark hair and dark brown eyes. Much to my surprise, she was born with very little hair and piercing blue eyes. To this day, I'm still shocked that my husbands genes were stronger than mine, but I'm over it.

With every child after that, I wished (not prayed) that they would have dark brown eyes and dark hair. Hoping that one of our children would look like me. After Esther made her grand appearance, with her dark eyes and button nose, I was content (even if she was bald, just like her two older siblings). My contentment came, not from the fact that I got a dark eyed baby, but from the realization that no matter what they look like, they are God's gift to me. Perfectly and wonderfully formed the way HE sees fit. And no matter who they resemble or look like, my love will never waiver.

I am working my way back to the beginning, please stay with me!!

Gideon's features are so strikingly gorgeous. I know I'm bias, but really, have you even seen a more contrasting look as him? With his bright blond hair and eyes as big as the sun and as dark as the night? Again, not something I would have created myself, but oh so glad that God did.

Fast forward to my pregnancy with Nora.

With every child you have, you wonder, "What will this one look like? Will they resemble a sibling? parent?" And since my pregnancy with Esther, I hadn't hoped for anything. Only for a healthy baby. But this time it was different. Selfishly, I hoped that Nora WOULD have hair (ok, so I wasn't that over it!), lots of it. And DARK. And knowing that this would be our last child, I hoped that this baby would join Olivia (and Josh) in the blue eyed club. Not only would she join them in the club, but I wanted her to be the complete opposite of Gid.

I know this all sounds very vain. However, I think that most moms, and parents for that matter, can relate to dreaming up what your children will look like. So please don't judge me too harshly.

So, as I looked at my, opposite of her brother, blue eyed club member, God spoke to my heart and said, (not audibly, but you know what I mean) "See, I know your heart. Look at MY little girl, created by ME, for MY pleasure, that you get to enjoy, the way you pictured her. Because I see your heart. I know your wants. And once in a while, even in the small things in life, you can have what you want. Above and beyond what you need, I want to bless you. So be encouraged, today MY child, I see you, I hear your requests, even when you don't say them. The big, the small, the silly, the serious - I am God."

Whooaaaa! All that from looking into my daughters blue eyes. I NEVER saw that promise reminder coming through my hope of my blue eyed baby. But man, am I thankful that God works in ways I can never understand or imagine. And that I serve a God who daily gives grace and mercy, so that I can LIVE and learn.

And pass on the love.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T21:37:00.002-04:00

Happy Halloween

My pictures and posts about Nora have been lacking, so I'm going to feature her on this post. She was our lovely violet crayon for the night and stayed with us the whole night. She hung out in the carrier while we walked the neighborhood.

We're only a couple colors away from a whole box of crayons. Don't worry, we aren't going to try to get a whole box!! Our five are just perfect! The three older kids picked the color they wanted to be, and luckily I was able to find top and bottoms that coordinated. Gideon and Nora didn't really have a choice - it's the only color I could find both the tops and bottoms.

I'm really glad that all the kids cooperated with being crayons. Olivia was hesitant at first and I told her she could pick something else, but that everyone else was going as crayons, so she happily jumped on board. It's probably the last time, until they're all teenagers, that they will dress-up as a group. It was a great night.

In a good groove

2009-10-28T11:36:00.005-04:00

Life is in a good groove right now. Our days are filled with school, play, and conversation. I'm feeling really good about the schedule that has made itself in our school day. We start the day with Bible, which includes all the kids. Even Esther and Gideon get in on the singing and story. In Bible time, they are also required to memorize a passage of scripture. This 6 week period it's John 3: 14-19. Look it up - it's a long section of scripture and after only 10 days both kids could recite it without missing a beat! AMAZING! After Bible, Olivia and I have reading time, while I get Garrett started on his writing seat work. Olivia then starts her cursive writing (she does a very good job!) while I go over and help Garrett in Phonics and Math. It works out really nicely for equal time with each child. I thought that scheduling the two kids and juggling their different learning styles and levels would be hard, but it has fallen into place all on it's own and given me a lot of confidence as we continue our homeschooling endeavor.

Garrett has picked up math like a champ - NO problems there. He struggles with phonics and really tests my patience and pace. (I like things to move quickly, that's just NOT going to happen with him). He struggles with focus, especially when he hears the TV on in the next room. We always knew this would be a struggle for him and I am glad I can give him the one on one time he really needs. We just recently enrolled him in karate, which he is wonderful at. It's a great daddy/son time (I think Josh gets just as excited about class as Garrett does!).

Olivia is not as enthusiastic about homeschooling as I would have thought. I'm giving her time because right now a lot of the lessons are a review from kindergarten, and she gets bored with them quickly. She is really interested in the geography/history lessons and with cursive writing. These things are new to her and are what gives me hope for the coming lessons that will challenge her. She thrives with challenge and I'm so proud of her sticking it out the first couple of weeks.

By the time school is over for both kids, it's 11am and they all go outside and play. Having the older two separated from the little ones, makes playtime peaceful when they are all together. They have been playing "circus", "school", " and "house", as one happy group. That makes this mommy very happy!!

Esther is growing like crazy. She now has a best friend, Kylie, who she loves to play babies with. She tends to be a broken record when she wants something, but her giving spirit totally outweighs that trait. At the Halloween parade on Saturday she was collecting the candy that was being thrown to the kids, and instead of hording it for herself, she ALWAYS gave to her best friend Kylie. And later on could be seen walking down the line of kids, placing a piece of candy in each of their bags before she took any for herself. What a giver - such a beautiful girl!

Gideon is almost two and has a soft heart for everyone. Just today, Olivia was upstairs crying about homeschooling. I wasn't being the most sympathetic mother and was telling her to "just get over it!" Gideon, walked over to her, put his arms out and nuzzled up into her for a big hug. He may not be able to say much, but his actions communicate volumes!

Nora is a great baby. She had thrush after a couple of weeks, which really caused her some pain and bad sleeping habits. After that cleared up we were good to go at night. She is currently 5 1/2 weeks old and going 4-5 hours between feedings at night and is going right back to sleep after she eats. During the day she enjoys, sleeping! Really, she eats and sleeps and doesn't do much other than that. She doesn't like her swing, but does enjoy a couple of minutes in the bouncy seat. She is loved by the whole family and is starting to smile at familiar faces.

Nora at the Halloween parade. They grow so fast!

Liv, Es, and Garrett at the parade. Gideon was sick this night and couldn't make it, so daddy stayed home with him.

Garrett homeschooling!

Liv, set up in the kitchen with her DVD classroom on the TV.

Liv at the end of her MORNING (I stress morning, b/c she acts like it's been all day!). She wasn't happy about finishing her seat work and really wasn't happy about me taking her picture. That would be a pencil flying at me.

Pumpkins, hayrides and corn mazes, Oh my!

2009-10-21T15:13:00.004-04:00

Have I mentioned that I love my playgroup. You heard me, not the kids' playgroup, MY playgroup. We have been gathering together at my sister's house every Thursday since the summer. This group has become like family to our kids and to myself as well. The women in this group have been a source of encouragement and support for me, like no other women I have had in my life. Each woman brings something unique and special to the group - not to mention lots of new moms! There hasn't been a week where we didn't have a new mom come for some fun!

On the days I've woken up and thought, "Oh, man - this day is going to be horrible. The kids are driving me nuts. I didn't sleep at all last night. I CANNOT get out of the house today", are the days I get myself there, NO MATTER WHAT! These women have made me a better friend, wife and mother. I thank God daily for the relationships I am building and for the new relationships that will come out of it.

Ok, now to the fun part!

To kick off fall at playgroup we are painting pumpkins and having a big fall festival tomorrow. So, we decided to take a field trip together today and pick our pumpkins at a local farm. I was pretty excited, b/c I missed doing a fall photo shoot with the kids and took this opportunity to get some shots of them. Here you go!

Esther with the pumpkin she didn't get. She was the only one of my kids who wanted a "tiny" pumpkin. Thank goodness, the other two wanted the biggest ones in the field!

Garrett was not letting this 'monster' pumpkin go! It weighed almost 20 lbs!!

This picture pretty much represents how happy Gid was to have his picture taken all day.

Mommy with her babies. Nora is in the carrier.

I was happy with Olivia's pick - I thought it was fairly conservative and not TOO large. However, when they put it on the scale, it weighed more than Garrett's! At .49 cents a pound - both of their pumpkins were quite an investment.

Playgroup Pumpkin gang.

From left to right (top) Garrett, holding Nora. Olivia, holding Riley. Esther, holding Brynn. Kylee, and Ava. Left to right (bottom) Jon, holding Ben. Gideon.

Crisp Pumpkin gang.

Fall Festivals and Sibling love

2009-10-10T20:12:00.005-04:00

Everything is going well here. Other than me not being able to blog. I seem to be in a blog block. Really, I've written three blogs and never published them because I'm just not happy with them. I was kinda feeling good about this blog, until my wonderful, proof-reading husband said, "You might want to re-read this, it's kinda choppy. I don't think you'll like it if you re-read it all together." So what if I have a newborn who doesn't want to sleep in her own bed. So what if that causes me to get little sleep. Which in turn makes my brain not work. Leading to the blog block. So here you go - pictures with choppy content. Enjoy! :)

Esther loves to hold Nora the most.

Gid still loves to kiss her.

Olivia is a great help when Nora doesn't want to sleep in her cradle and only wants to be held.

We've spent the last couple of Saturdays at local Fall Festivals. There are always tons of venders and food, but we only do the free stuff. It's great fun and the kids really don't mind as long as they get their faces painted and ride a pony.

Marlton Festival
This face painting booth was our church, Sovereign Grace.

Of course there were tons of free balloons - which I hate. Why? You ask. Number 1 - we tie them to the stroller so they don't lose them to the sky, so they get in my face while I try to maneuver through the massive amounts of people - annoying! Number 2 - because we save them from the sky and they make it home they float around the house and then lay around the house for the next week because the kids want to play with them.

Es petting a bunny.

Mt. Laurel Festival

Aunt Ange walking with Gideon on the pony.

The five older cousins - Nora is in the stroller behind Esther's head and Brynn is in the stroller that Garrett's hand is on. I know, so sad that they didn't make the cut.

Esther's butterfly.

Garrett's sand art.

Liv driving the fire truck.

Welcome Eleanor "Nora" Lynne

2009-09-23T08:46:00.003-04:00

Our 5th miracle was born on Saturday, September 19, 2009 at 4:51 pm. After having to be induced because of high blood pressure Eleanor made her grand appearance. It was a nice quick delivery and stay at the hospital. So far she's a great baby and her siblings are loving her. Finally, a baby of ours has hair!!

Big sister Esther really loves her.

Goin' home.

Where have we been??

2009-09-16T10:10:00.007-04:00

I know, I know, I am a slacker.

I am also a wife, a mother of 4 (almost 5), a nomad, a daughter and a friend. I am wonderfully made, and beautiful in His sight, even if I don't always look beautiful, inside or out. There have been good days, GREAT days, bad days, ugly days, and REALLY ugly days in our lives. I am learning how to be a better marriage partner. Loving unconditionally, selflessly, and in submission to who my husband is in God. I am letting the training of our children teach me more than I ever thought possible. I am learning how to be a better friend and making deep relationships with women who challenge, encourage, and love me.

We have decided to home school Olivia and Garrett this year. This decision came suddenly and was confirmed quickly. Homeschooling is something I NEVER considered for our family. After seeing how uncertain our future is in the next year, I felt it was the only way to go for the stability of our family.

We have found a home church that we LOVE! Sovereign Grace Church is where we call home now and are excited to get more involved this fall. They are currently meeting in a high school auditorium and are building their own campus as we speak. It was so obvious to us after only a couple of weeks that this was where God wanted us to attend.

We are back at my mom and dad's and are so thankful for their willingness to have us. It's not easy for anyone to live in close quarters, but we all do the best we can and are learning about respect for other's space, things, and time. We are currently praying that we will be able to find a home of our own (most likely a rental) that we can afford and raise our family in.

The kids and I spent much of the summer taking weekly trips to the shore with friends and family. We also spent the last week of August and first week of September in a rental home with my moms family. It was a wonderful week with family and the beach. The only thing that would have made it better was if Josh could have joined us. But duty called and there was work to be done. And still is, thank God. We are so thankful that he has a job that is not cutting hours, salary, or even employees because of the economy.

Now for some pictures from the summer.

Olivia and Garrett spent a couple of days in the garage with my dad building things with the scrap wood he has out there. Garrett started the building projects when he designed, assembled, and painted his airplane. Olivia got to build a bird house. It was a great time with

P-Pop and I know the kids will remember it for the rest of their lives.

The birdhouse coming together.

Garrett with his airplane.

P-Pop was really impressed with how well Garrett thought out and put together his creation.

Daddy with his boys! LOVE THEM!

Playing Catch-up again

2009-08-01T14:41:00.006-04:00

Once again I am way behind on the happenings of our house hold. The first couple of pictures are from the VBS the kids attended in July. They had a great time and are still singing the songs from it.

Esther during the closing program. She found us across the gym and made sure we saw her too!

Here are the kids killing time at the house. I really HATE playdough, however, it kept them busy for a while with no fighting between them. Well worth the clean up!

Another fun activity the kids have enjoyed, is playing with an enormous bin of dress-up clothes. Esther, our self-proclaimed princess, is usually the one dressing up and this picture captures her outfit of choice. Avery was visiting this day and enjoyed dressing up with Es.

All the kids LOVE "baby Brynn." She sometimes looks at Ange like, "Mom, are you going to save me from all these hands and eyes, or what?!?"

The Burlington County Farm Fair was last weekend, and we braved the heat took the afternoon to enjoy the sights.

Daddy and Gideon watching the pig races.

Olivia driving an antique tractor.

Esther at the wheel.

Watch out crazy kid comin' through!

Garrett and Olivia with the BC library book.

The next set of pictures are the kids with the animals, the highlight of the day.

Oh, and the dunk tank. Liv was the only one who hit the target!

Back to the animals.

Sisters

2009-07-24T13:48:00.002-04:00

Seriously, are these two really sisters?

Esther at age 3 1/2

Olivia at age 3 1/2

LOTS of pictures to catch up!!

2009-07-11T13:19:00.006-04:00

It's been a couple of crazy, awesome, fun-filled weeks around here. Lots of beach trips, family time and memory making have been going on in this Crisp family's life. We are enjoying living as our own family unit, even if it is for a short time. Sleep has been plentiful, long days have been had, and laughter abundant. Enjoy the show!! (and my commentary, of course!)

July 1st

Beach day # 3

Olivia and Esther enjoying the waves together.

Garrett and Esther making 'sand' angels.

Esther and Avery helping Gideon in the waves.

Garrett is a natural in the water. He times his jumps and dives perfectly with the waves and is not overwhelmed when lots of waves hit him in a row. As you can see, he is a natural on the boogie-board too!

Olivia taking care of Avery in the water.

Gid made friends with the lifeguards.

Es building a sandcastle.

Gid trying to help dig the hole.

July 10th

Beach day # 5

Gideon hung out in his swimmy diaper most of this day. It doesn't really matter what he's got on, he's cute!

Mermaid Esther

July 4th

The day was spent at the beach, but no pictures to show for it.

That night, we waited in the backyard for the Cherry Hill fireworks, that we weren't able to see. Oh well, we had fun waiting for them jumping on the tramp.

Mommy and Esther

Daddy and Garrett

Not quite a family picture. No one took a nap on the way home from the beach this day, so Gideon was put to bed early and didn't get to enjoy the night life!

Action shots on the tramp.

July 8th

What's a better way to end the day then jumping on the tramp with the sprinkler under it??

July 10th

We joined in the fun of cow appreciation day at Chick-fil-a and had the kids dress as cows for a free meal. Thanks to dress-up clothes at the house we're staying in, the girls were fully decked out as cows. Garrett only had the snout and ears, but got a free meal anyway!

Everyone say, "Eat more chicken!"

Olivia insisted on eating with her whole costume on. By the end of her meal, she had ranch dipping sauce all over her snout.

Pretty Esther cow!

Meeting up with friends

2009-06-30T13:57:00.002-04:00

The kids and I had a great time on Friday meeting the Meeks in OC for the day. Brian and Wendy are old friends from the church Josh worked at in New Castle, IN. They have three beautiful girls, Ally, Abby, and Mady. My kids didn't remember them at all, but they became instant friends.

Olivia and Abby really hit it off and could hardly be found for a photograph because they went from the water to digging/building/collecting and back to the water!

Garrett and Mady are the same age and got along great too. Mady seems to get along well with boys, and could handle his rough-housing.

Esther and Mady also had fun bonding in the surf. After the second trip to the beach this summer, I think it's safe to say that Esther loves the water, goes in as far as she feels comfortable and does not feel left out when the others go out further than her. She's happy to dance and spin in the surf all by herself. People probably wonder where that child's mother is!! :)

Gideon was awesome again - digging, chasing birds, and stealing people's holes. It seemed like everytime we dug a hole, he found it and took it over. It didn't matter that there were three other's right next to him, he had to go find the newest one.

Brian was a trooper and gave all the kids turns at going out to the really rough waves. Wendy and I manned the beach and kept count of all the little bodies we were in charge of. It was nice to catch up and spend the day soaking up the sun. It does a body good (or is that milk)??

All the "kids," minus Garrett. In the background from left to right, Ally, Brian (yes, a definite "big" kid), Olivia, and Mady. In the foreground from left to right, Abby, Gideon and Esther.

Gideon the hole stealer!

Esther coming up from her "dancey-dance" time in the surf.

Garrett was a great sport and let the girls bury him and decorate him however they wanted.

What I can Control

2009-06-21T10:20:00.007-04:00

I am a self proclaimed control freak. I fool myself into thinking that I've got it all together all the time. Our finances, our marriage, the kids, the housework. You get the point. The lesson that I'm not in control is one I learn, over and over. . .and over.

I was reminded of it again yesterday while sitting at a baby shower for my dear cousin Bekah and her husband Brian, who are expecting a little girl in August. Questions about adding a baby to your home were asked of the "seasoned" moms in attendance. Things like, "How many diapers will I change in a day?" "How will I know when my milk comes in" (for those of you wondering, you JUST KNOW!!)? "When will my baby sleep through the night?" Advice and expertise is always good for a new mom. However, while talking to my sister about it later, she expressed that the best answers to all questions would be, "Here was what happened with me, but every baby is different, every mothering style is different, all household dynamics are different." My cousin's experience of bringing a child into the world will be different and unique from all of the other moms she knows.

This is a gift that God gives us. Not only does he make us all unique and special, but He then directs us to someone we fall in love with, someone who is completely different and unique, stretching us and molding us into more of the person that He wants us to be. Then, in an amazing act of love and selflessness, He blesses us with children, each unique and perfectly woven together by Him. . .for US! For me. To once again, stretch me, teach me, mold me into the woman He wants me to be. Because of my children, I can relate to my Creator and in my finite thinking, get a glimpse of His love for me. How deep, and long, and wide, and high it is. . .that He sacrificed His son for me.

Ummm, that's not where I was going, but I guess that's where I was suppose to go. . .

Back to being in control (or not).

We have all chosen to raise our families, how we feel is best for us. As a house, family, and for each child. And hopefully, in a way that is leading us to train up and lead our children toward Him. We've all seen parenting styles we don't agree with, ones we wish we could institute in our house, and constantly changing styles. Like everything else in this life, parenting is a learning process. I don't have it all together. And when I look at someone else in judgement of the way they parent, (or don't parent), I am wrong. I know from learning about my own little "angels", that each of them is made so individually and uniquely, that they require different forms of rearing and training. When I stand in judgement of other families, I fail to see their individuality and the whole picture. There are so many factors that go into family dynamics, birth order, sexes of the children, closeness in age, age of the parent, the way we as parents were raised, all go into what style of parenting we choose.

But here's the kicker about parenting (and most other things in life). We really don't have all that control that I just talked about. I want to do my best for each of my beautiful children to raise them up to make wise choices in life, to choose to show love to others, the way Jesus showed his love for us, to love each other deeply and without restraint. But I cannot make the choices for them. I can lead them by example. I can control my reactions to them. I can choose to fly off the handle every time they slip up or I can choose to be there when the consequences come, in love and forgiveness. I can teach them right from wrong, but ultimately, they choose their own path. They too will walk down through the valleys and atop the mountains. I pray that I will be the parent who is understanding enough of each of my individual children, that I will be close enough to them, that they will let me walk the journey with them. Guiding them, listening to them, and teaching them along the way.

So to all you parent's out there, whether you're the parent of a 50 year old, 30 year old, 18 year old, or children who are still at home who "need" you, let's work together in raising our children. Let's come together in understanding and love, not judgement. Let's learn from each other, even if it's what "not to do." Let's love each other, and more importantly, each other's kids the way God made us to love. We all have different ways and expressions of love that can add to the lives of all children. Let's add to the beauty in each life that we contact and give the next generation a picture of full, complete, and uncompromising love.

Bekah and myself, belly to belly.

The many children at the baby shower yesterday. In all, 4 different families are represented in the two pictures. Look at all the beauty!

hair cuts and new trucks!!

2009-06-14T20:54:00.002-04:00

Garrett got his much needed summer cut today. He loves his mo hawk!

Mom and dad drove down to pick up dad's new truck today. The kids have been really excited about it and took advantage of playing in it as soon as it was parked in the driveway. They also couldn't wait for a ride in the back. Dad took them the short distance from the driveway to the side yard so they could wash it. Tons of fun had by all, even Indy joined the fun in the back of the truck.

The girls hangin' out in the back of the truck. Olivia made this face on purpose, she's so mean!

Then she stood up and said, "Here mom, I'll pose now." She doesn't disappoint, does she?

Gid loved the back of the truck too. He really liked it when I got in the cab and made silly faces at him though the window.

The best shot of all four.

When dad moved the truck, Gideon opted to ride in the cab with P-Pop.

They had lots of fun washing the car. Their personalities were really evident too. Olivia was all about finishing the task, quickly but perfectly. Garrett was all over the truck washing small sections and constantly re-soaking his rag. Esther was really thorough, focusing on one spot until she thought it was clean enough to move on. She got stuck on the rear bumper where there is some rust. She continually came back over and over to try to get the spot out!

I think this is the only washing he did. He was more interested in getting close enough to the hose to touch the stream of water and get himself wet.

I'm loving having our Sunday's to ourselves. There have been things I miss about being a pastor's family, but for the most part, Sunday is more relaxing, less stressful, and actually feels like a real weekend, having two days off in a row! And man, do I LOVE having Josh home to help get everyone ready for church, drink our coffee together, and ride as a family to church. A refreshing change from the last five years in church work.

Psalm 40

2009-06-11T08:37:00.005-04:00

Overall, I would consider myself pretty positive person, and I think that others would say the same. This has not been the case the last couple of days. I am in the middle of some major growing pains and I WANT OUT! I'm not sure what God's purpose in this refinement is, but right now, I'm fighting it with everything I have.

Yesterday, I actually wrote a blog about how I feel. This is one of the sentences I wrote, 'I want God to show me exactly what I can do to make everyone in my family happy. To fulfill every one's different personalities and I want it to fit into HIS perfect plan so we can live in utopia for the next 50 years.' REALLY!! I want a to live in a utopia?? How delusional is that?

I feel 'let down' by much of what is happening in our life. And immediately after feeling that, I feel guilt, because I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. I can rant on and on about the blessings and provisions we have been given, but they're just in my head - my heart hasn't been able to see them clearly.

As Josh and I talked about this last night, I told him I feel lost. I have no sense of purpose. I know the "Christian" answers to this problem, but those answers aren't enough for me right now. At least, I don't think they are. He said that everyone feels like that. That, most of us are walking around confused and reaching out to anything to find purpose. Is that true? Do you feel lost on this journey you're on? I know I haven't always felt like this, I know at some points in my life, I had purpose. . .at least I convinced myself I did. See? Did you see what just happened? The doubt just creeps in a steals any sort of joy that I could find that might bring me out of this valley.

I share all of this, because as most of you know, I process and grow by verbalizing. This is the way I can verbalize when the only people home are our beautiful rug-rats.

I feel lighter already.

This blog is mostly a testament to our kids. It has, when needed, taken the form of my growing pains. We aren't perfect in our marriage, as parents, or Jesus followers. We are traveling our path, sometimes in the dark, sometimes with big neon signs, sometimes on our own, sometimes holding our Guide's hand. Our path has taken us into lower valleys then this one. . .my hope and prayer is that I'm on my way up to the Rock.

If you're stuck in a valley, if you are also fumbling around in the dark, be encouraged. You are not alone. We have a Deliverer. We have one who does answer prayers. One who makes our path clear. One whose plan is GREATER than anything we can even wish for or imagine. Let us not lose hope. . .our hope is in the Lord.

The first of many

2009-06-07T17:18:00.004-04:00

New Shovels and Buckets for the beach: $22.00

Philly Water Ice Pops for the kids: $4.00

Atlantic Ocean and endless beaches: $0

A day In Ocean City at the beach: priceless.

Thumb sucking and the growing kids

2009-06-02T10:10:00.005-04:00

Anyone out there have any good ideas how to stop THIS:

He really loves his thumb, but he's five. This behavior is the worst, obviously, at night while going to sleep and also when he watches TV. I guess it might be time to stop him from doing it, any suggestions are welcomed!

Little Bean - seriously, I love this kid! Every time I get home from a Dr.'s appointment she says, "Mommy, did you get your baby out?" So cute. She said to me this morning on the way home from the store, "Jesus make me a mommy, ok?" I love that she wants to be a mommy!

Me and Gid. He's quite the mama's boy! Love, love, love his big brown eyes and irresistible laugh. He gets the biggest kick out of himself and of making others laugh. He's got a great sense of humor. So much fun!

Olivia's been really into writing stories, mostly about herself, but it a start, right? :) Today after she was finished with her homework she sat at the table and wrote this story:

ALL ABOUT ME

I love skool it is fun.

It is fun fun fun.

I lrn los uf stuf.

I do math.

Math is fun.

The End

I'm really glad she wrote this story because lately she's been a bear to get out of bed for school. She's also made so many friends at school and here at home that we are starting to deal with; how to be a good friend, how to choose good friends, and constantly hammering the idea of treating others the way you want to be treated. It's exhausting and hard to watch as she gets hurt by "friends" and continually wants to play with them anyway. We've started praying for these friends as well as how we can love them unconditionally (the second part is harder for daddy and I then for the kids!).

Big Boy Toys

2009-05-24T12:41:00.004-04:00

In an effort to level the ground in my parents backyard for our easy-set pool, Josh brought home "help." Once again, he and my dad were like little kids talking about the tractor, using the tractor, and just LOOKING at the tractor. We got a lot done yesterday thanks to the "toy." All the moving of dirt would have taken much longer and the pool wouldn't be up and filled had we not had it. I'm thankful to Lawn Connection for lending us the equipment.

Here's the kids taking turns sitting in the drivers seat.

This is the truck that Josh drives everyday. It pulls the trailer with either the tractor on it, or all the other lawn care equipment they use.

Garrett's turn in the drivers seat. The two kids you don't recognize are neighbores who are frequently found playing in our yard. :)

Daddy and Gideon backing the tractor off the trailer. Esther was really scared and yelling at Josh, "Daddy, Gideon, ok?" Over and over.

In other boy news, here's Garrett's latest scrape. Actually, a slice, that I thought was going to need stitches. Luckily, it was a diagonal slice and not straight across the chin. He did this while running down the sidewalk, tripped and fell, hitting his chin on a brick. I didn't see it happen, but I'm assuming it was the corner of the brick. I'll be surprised if there's a time this summer when he doesn't have some sort of cut, scrape, or bruise on his body. He's sooo rough!

I love these faces!

2009-05-16T14:52:00.002-04:00

Howcould
you

NOT LOVE

these

faces??

Boy Fun

2009-05-13T08:53:00.006-04:00

If you're male and you are somehow related to my family, chances are you LOVE Jeeps. Wranglers to be exact. My dad has owned three (one that was actually my brothers), we have had two, Corrie has expressed the NEED for one, now that they live in a "4 wheel drive" town. I do have to say, they are fun to drive, especially with the top and doors off.

My dad got his hands on a free Jeep a couple of years ago that "needed work." Basically, it wouldn't start and the clutch was totally broken. It's been sitting in his garage all these years waiting for some tender loving hands to come fix it (and someone with some money to put into it). When we moved in, dad had to roll the Jeep out because all our stuff needed to go in it's place. A couple of weeks ago, we moved our stuff to the attic so that the Jeep could regain it's position and the guys could get to work on it. Did I forget to mention that a week before that, they got it started? The reaction of Josh and dad would have made you think that Jesus had come back for them, they were so excited! And actually, for mother's day, they thought that the highlight of the day would be starting it...so they did. Highlight?...not exactly...at least not for the mothers.

Esther sat in it on Sunday when they started it and was frozen with fear from the noise. She was sitting in the passenger seat crying for someone to get her out of the "scary Jeep." She probably can't appreciate the Jeep for what it is because she's female...

Gideon sat in it yesterday, full of smiles and laughs. I'm sure he was dreaming about the day when he could have one of his own.

Watch out! Here I come!

And what spells fun for a boy more than a pile of dirt and rocks. And man, is there more then enough of that around this place.

"I grab this here...and then...

I put this thing on this hard, dirty stuff....and (grunt) lift.

Check out my findings...

...looks good to me!"

Of course, I did say that this post was about boy fun, but seriously, I couldn't leave out this picture of Esther. She can get just as dirty as the boys and play just as hard, and that ragamuffin face...LOVE IT! She is my little girl who loves "spin-'round" dresses, but she can wear anything and be super cute, don't ya think?

Ok, and since I've already veered away from the boy theme once, I'm going to do it again and share some Olivia quotes from when she was sick the last couple of days.

I explained to Olivia when she feels like she's going to throw up to use the puke bucket...you all know what I'm talking about. Anyway, during her second spewing at 3 in the morning, I ran out to hear her saying, between gags and pukes,

"Oh, man, (gag) I got it on my pj's! (gag, gag)"

"It's ok", I reply, as I grab for the bucket. "Why don't you have the bucket?"

"Mom, I couldn't help it, it zoomed up so fast!" As she ran her finger up her throat.

The next morning, I was sitting with her while another bout of sickness was coming out of her, holding her hair back and rubbing her back. When she was finished, she looked up at me and said, "I'm all out."

That says it all folks, doesn't it?

not me again

2009-05-11T18:27:00.005-04:00

This Monday has been extremely productive! For the first time in my married life I hung my laundry on the line outside (5 loads)! Garrett and I had some good mother/son time while he moved the line for me, and took down some dry clothes. The clothes are at this moment, folded and put away! I also got the van COMPLETELY clean. I mean, scrubbed the grime off the arm rest, vacuum the snot out of the carpet, take the car seat covers off the seats and washed them, smells like a new car, CLEAN!

In the spirit of some of those things, here's my "NOT ME" list.

I did not enjoy hanging the laundry out on the line. I did not hum a little tune, say a couple prayers, or utterly enjoy the quiet breeze whispering around me.

I did not let my 3 year old "help" me clean the van. I did not let her have unlimited access to the environmentally safe armor all and window cleaner to spray and 'clean' where ever she wanted. This control freak mother would never let a child "help" clean and not go back over to do it the "right" way! NOT ME! (I'm not sure how that reads, but really didn't go back over and re-clean her spots!)

I did not leave my 18 month old son unattended on multiple occasions this week while he successfully emptied food items. I did not have to clean up,

Cheerios (I did not make my mom clean these up!)

Tea bags, some of which he opened and was ready to brew up!

Or Cocoa Puffs. At least this time he was trying to get them in a bowl.

I did not find any of these things funny, cute, or bloggable. NOT ME!

I did not put off my blood work for this pregnancy AGAIN, just because I don't want to go. I would never ignore doctors orders, I'm always such a compliant patient.

I did not go 5 for 5 in guessing the sex of our children, before we had them or the ultrasound. I did not tell my husband last Monday, that I thought this baby was a girl. I did not listen to him tell me how he prayed that, although he knew the sex was already determined, he would really like another son. I did not gloat about being 5 for 5 to anyone, what kind of person would do that?? I am not kinda excited that I have a pattern going with my kids. Patterns aren't my thing...Not me!

And, on a sad note...I did not forget that my wonderful husband had planned a date for us this past Saturday. I did not start cooking dinner so we couldn't go out...I would never forget a date, we go on them SOOOOO often!

Joining the "Not Me" club!

2009-05-04T14:22:00.003-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

In an effort to keep my humor fresh and laugh at myself during this transition time in life, I am joining the "Not me!" Monday. I hope you enjoy these things that I would never, ever (not in a million years) do...EVER!

On Saturday, I did not keep my pajama pants on all day, put a sports bra on with a blue, "V" neck maternity shirt, which showed my purple sports bra (did I forget to mention that it was purple?) and walk around the neighborhood all day watching my kids.

On this same day in question, I did not run out of the house like a lunatic, screaming and yelling at my five year old son b/c he wiped out off his bike in the road. And I would never yell at him b/c he disobeyed me, but only b/c I was so worried if he got hurt or not. I would never think that he got what he deserved for disobeying! Not me, I'm way more compassionate than that.

And to make it a solid, three strikes and your out kinda day, that evening, I did NOT run down an entire street block (in my awesome, stay-at-home-mom outfit) screaming and yelling for Mr. Softee, the local ice cream truck, to stop so my kids and niece could have an ice cream cone for a snack.

I'm way above doing any of those things...it was "Not Me..."

He's my son

2009-04-29T10:22:00.011-04:00

How many of you are following the Stellan story on MckMama's blog? I have to say, I'm a little obsessed the with it. I even thought about joining the twitter nation, just to follow her on twitter too. She is honest about her life as a wife and mother. She shares truth concerning her faith and struggles. She raises good questions about prayer and healing. But mingled in with all of that is a positive, never give up attitude that is contagious.

I say all of that to share a story about Garrett that brought me to tears. Ok, and a little bit of sobbing.

I was checking "my charming kids" for the fifth time yesterday morning and decided it was a good time to watch a picture montage, set to the song, "He's My Son" by Mark Schultz, that someone had made for MckMama. She warned to have tissues handy, which I didn't. As I began watching it, Garrett joined me. Picture after picture rolled by of Stellan in the hospital, hooked up to wires and tubes. Garrett continued to take in the images and asked, "What's wrong with that baby, mom?" I explained that he was born with a sick heart and that he had to be in the hospital so the doctors could fix his heart. I went a little further to explain that if your heart is sick, that your whole body is sick, b/c our hearts keep us alive.

VERY seriously and with his lip quivering he asked me, "Is he going to die?"

I shrugged my shoulders, getting ready to explain that LOTS of people are praying for him...etc, but he cut me off.

"He's not going to die, mom. Jesus is going to"...he struggles to find the right word... "cure him."

Ok, so the video hadn't made me cry, yet. But that comment started the tears. I grabbed him, put him on my lap and finished the video together. Me, quietly crying behind him all the way through it.

When it finished he looked up at me, lip quivering a little harder this time, tears welled up in his eyes. "Why are you crying buddy?"

"Because, that was a really sad song. I don't want that baby to die."

We went on to talk about how we can pray that God will heal him completely and how we can be thankful for our healthy family.

"Let the little children come to me, and so not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Mark 10:15

We miss him!

2009-04-22T15:23:00.003-04:00

It's official. I miss Josh. Olivia misses daddy. Garrett misses daddy. Esther misses daddy. And I'm sure, in his non-verbal way, Gideon misses daddy. And I know Indy misses his walks with daddy!

We are happy, different, changing, and the same. We are the same 6 people who moved from Michigan two months ago undergoing a major shift in life.

One of us is a little thinner.
One of us is a little bigger.
One of us is a little more tired.
One of us is a little more structured.
One of us wakes up REALLY grumpy from our naps.
One of us just keeps getting cuter.

But we're all the same people, dealing with change in our own way, and yet we deal with it together.

Olivia told me she was crying at school today. She thinks that because she's there all day, she's seeing Josh less then the other kids. I don't know if she thinks he's coming home at lunch, but I told her that she sees him as much as the other kids. I'm sure she misses walking home from the bus with him, eating lunch with him, and having him home at dinner 7 nights a week. I know I miss those things.

Garrett asks to wrestle at least 2 times a night. This was their activity. Josh wants to do it, and usually does, it just really hard because he's so physically drained.

All the kids would get excited when he would come home from work, but not like now! Man, they run out the door and meet him on the street. Esther yelling, "Daddy home!" and Gideon screaming joyfully all the way across the yard. The older two usually pull up on their bikes a minutes or two later to say welcome home.

I just thought of this while I was typing. Last night, while my dad and I were making dinner, all the kids were playing outside. Olivia asked me, "what does daddy's shirt say?" "His work shirt says, Lawn Connection. That's who he works for." "Thanks!" And she ran down the driveway. A couple of minutes later I walked down to find her drawing a chalk picture of Josh, in his work clothes, standing next to her. It was cute and she couldn't wait to show it to him.

So, we're all adjusting, some of us slower then others, some of us more verbally than others. We continue to trust in God and seek his direction as we train and lead our children through this new time in life. I know most of you already saw these pictures on facebook, but they are the most recent ones I have of my amazingly hot, hard working, husband...who I love!

Spring Break

2009-04-19T18:01:00.003-04:00

School starts back up today. I don't know if I'm glad or dreading the schedule that I have to get back into. The kids had fun this week making new friends in the neighborhood, playing with cousins, and going to parties. The not so fun part was waiting out the rain for two days. Here's some pictures from the week.The girls at "Auntie Brooke's" (my cousin) baby shower. From left to right, Katie, Brooke's sister-in-law (no, I didn't type the relation wrong, she really is Brooke's husband's sister!), Olivia, Ella (my cousin Lauren's daughter), Esther and Avery.

The kids really love the playset in my parents side yard. Many, many hours are spent swinging and sliding!

One of the rainy days I covered the kitchen table with paper and let the kids go after it with Dot Paints. They are awesome! No prep, easy clean-up, fun for hours (ok, minutes), FUN!

Imperfection is perfect

2009-04-13T13:46:00.009-04:00

Now that I'm living in the same house I grew up in, I've got a new appreciation for the house, the neighborhood, and the town that I grew up in. But most of all for my parents...here's the story...

I've always appreciated my parent's willingness to have an "open door" policy. When we were little, this was the house everyone came to. It wasn't well decorated, adorned, or fancy. BUT, it was a HOME, lived in, and loved. When we were teens, the freedom to bring our friends home didn't stop and you could often find our living room full of teens watching TV or just hanging out. One by one we went off to college, and you could almost guarantee at breaks, we brought people with us. Mom and dad never complained, never said no. They've had friends of ours live with them for long lengths of time. Co-workers, who needed temporary housing. And even fiances, who needed to save a couple of bucks, who moved in. When we were all finally out of the house two years ago, they were ready to be empty nesters...and for two years they were. However, the "open door" policy came back to haunt them. Josh and Corrie needed to save some money for a big move they had coming up and moved back into 428 Bem st. Mom and dad once again, embraced the extra bodies, including a dog. In January, Josh and I had a big move coming too, and the first place we knew to go to for help was mom and dad. Even with our four kids and dog in toe, they didn't hesitate to make it work. We moved in, took over two rooms and created enough upheaval in their lives for 10 years. Never a complaint, dirty look, or sigh of annoyance. Unconditional, 100% sacrificial love.

My dad and I sat outside watching the kids play, in the same yard I played in as a child. There were kids everywhere. Eight in our yard, three across one street, and five across the other. One day, not so many years ago, it was us filling the air with laughs and conversation with our friends. Playing football in the side yard, suicide on the big abandoned building, and whiffle ball on the corners. Now, a generation later, it continues. The life of this blue collar, low income town still rings loud and true. We've lived in three towns since being married, and only now do I realize what was missing from them. The freedom to play, uninhibited, as children should play. To get dirty, really dirty. To make friends, with every kid, no matter what color they are, what language they speak, or what their house looks like.

That same afternoon, while we sat outside, a guy on a motorcycle pulled up in front of the house. My dad wasn't alarmed, but said, "Oh, it's Bruce." Bruce was one of the kids who grew up in the house across the street from my parents. He and my brother were friends and we often took him to church. He was a great, friendly kid. All these years later, he stops at the house to catch up with my dad. He's a man, living on his own, with his own life. But, and this is just my opinion, I believe that my parents had such an impact on Bruce's life, that he enjoys coming back. He knows he was loved here once and feels that love when he comes back. The "open door" policy, unconditional love...are you seeing the pattern?

Do you know what I love about this house? All the imperfections. Including the inhabitants, past and present. I love that every wall tells a story, of before I was born, to after I was born, to the present. There are pieces of art made my by grandmother's hands, framed by by grandfather. There are pieces of art made by my mother's hands and our hands, framed by my father's hands. There are missing walls, that tell stories of in-laws working together to make a more comfortable living space for everyone.

Here's some of the history that hangs on the staircase walls.

I love that all of our paintings from our Sr. years of high school still line the walls of the staircase.

Here's the missing walls. And yes, the room has two different colored carpets and two different color rugs, but WHO CARES?!?!? Those multi-colored carpets continue the story that the walls started.

You know what these kitchen counters are telling me? "Yeah, there's not a lot of working space on me. And yeah, I feel crowed when there's two people in my space. But I love the conversation that happens around this table. I love being a part of the game nights. I love all the years of Easter egg dying, pumpkin carving, and cookie baking, no matter how many people are here. And you know what, I really like being crowded!"

This is the room I grew up in. The purple carpet is what my mom picked out for our room when we put the addition on. And it's never changed. I think the red is the third coat of paint on these walls, and I think they like not matching each other. Yep, they do, they really do!

This is the imperfect hallway upstairs. And if it could talk it would tell you this: That it really likes being uneven. It likes being the thruway between my parents room and the most lived in bedroom in the house. It likes the little feet that cross it every morning to wake up Grammy and P-pop (even if they don't always like it)!

Oooooo, this is one of my FAVORITE things about the house. The way it's heated. Do you know what this is? It's a radiator, (pronounced, 'rad'- (as in "That's totally rad!") -iator. Please do not read it RAIDIATOR or you will ruin the picture. I remember as a kids, we liked to warm our feet on them while we watched TV. They were great for drying our snowy clothes and warming our coats before going out in the cold. They really screw up the wall space available for furniture, but add such character, especially when you pronounce it RADiator. :)

I love that when we added on to the house, my grandfather and father slaved away to build us a better home. I love that my husband has added to this house. That there are nails hammered in by generations of loved ones, past and present. That it's a work in progress. Because, isn't that what we all are? Imperfect, flawed, uneven, and crowded out. But put together with unconditional love.

This is what the house looked like when my parents bought it.

This is what it looks like today. Notice the open door... come on over for a visit...we'd love to have you!

I love this house, the people who live here, who have lived here, and the neighborhood it's a part of. I love the history, the imperfection, the beauty.

The tooth is gone

2009-04-06T19:07:00.006-04:00

Finally! Olivia's first tooth has been loose for months. The dentist told us she would loose it before we moved. She didn't. She didn't work it the way I remember working my teeth when I was a kid. This tooth has been hanging at a really gross angle for weeks. We tried everything to get her to work it out. The tooth fairy, unlimited DS time for a day, nothing worked. Until dinner tonight. One bite in, and it was out.

O: "Mom, I don't feel my tooth!"

M: "You lost it!?! Where is it? Is it in your mouth? On your plate? On the floor?"

We looked everywhere, except the one place that it probably is, her stomach. She said she didn't feel it go down, but it's the only explanation. So, in place of her tooth, she wrote this letter:

I guess we'll see tomorrow if the tooth fairy takes notes. :)

Token, "I just lost my first tooth" picture.